Postnatal Mental Health: How Therapy Can Support You After Baby

Are you expecting a baby – or have you recently given birth? If you’re finding life with your newborn different from what you envisioned, you are far from alone.

Motherhood is often portrayed through a romantic lens in the media: picture-perfect moments of bonding, glowing happiness. But the truth is, the postpartum period – or the first year after giving birth – is a profound time of transition. And for many, it’s also a time of emotional upheaval, identity shifts, and vulnerability.

Even if you prepared carefully for birth and parenting, your reality may not resemble the stories you’ve read or the experiences others have shared. That’s because every mother-baby dyad is unique. What works for one family may be very different for another.

In this blog post, we explore why feeling overwhelmed in the postpartum period is common – and not a sign of failure. We also highlight practical strategies for self-care, explain when to seek support, and outline how therapy can help. Most importantly, we affirm that “good enough” parenting is not only sufficient – it is powerful.

Note: This blog refers to “women” and “mothers” throughout, but we acknowledge that not all individuals who give birth identify this way. We also recognise that the emotional wellbeing of non-birthing partners is vitally important and increasingly researched, though not the focus of this post.

The Transition to Motherhood: A Profound Psychological Shift

Motherhood brings with it a series of monumental changes – not just in your routine, but in your body, identity, relationships, and emotional life.

Reproductive psychiatrist Dr. Alexandra Sacks coined the term matrescence, borrowed from anthropology, to describe the transformation into motherhood. Much like adolescence, it is a developmental stage marked by physical and hormonal changes, emotional variability, and a renegotiation of identity.

During matrescence, you may:

Experience physical recovery from childbirth and possible challenges with breastfeeding
Struggle with hormonal shifts that impact your mood and energy
Feel emotionally “unsteady” or distant from your previous self
Find your relationships with your partner, family, or friends changing
Question your role, your values, and your competence

Layered on top of these internal shifts are external stressors: social expectations, sleep deprivation, and a plethora of advice that often contradicts itself. It’s no wonder that many new mothers report feeling overwhelmed.

Even if your experience is within the realm of what’s considered “normal,” you may still need extra support. That’s not a weakness – it’s part of being human.

Why Self-Care Isn’t Selfish: It’s Essential

One of the greatest myths about motherhood is that your needs come second – or that good mothers should be self-sacrificing to the point of depletion. In reality, a well-supported, rested, and nourished mother is better able to care for her baby. But this is very challenging to achieve.

Self-care during the postnatal period often looks different from how it did before baby arrived. As a society we are generally having children later, and so are more likely to have experienced a period of independence and self-focus before having children. Self-care might mean:

Eating regular, nutritious meals
Drinking water and staying hydrated
Taking a warm shower – uninterrupted
Finishing a hot cup of tea before it goes cold
Letting go of chores to rest up
Getting outside, even for 10 minutes of fresh air
Having contact with other adults

It’s also vital to reduce exposure to things – or people – that make you feel worse. Curate your environment to include voices that support and reassure you. Ask for help, and accept it when it’s offered.

Remember, self-care is not a luxury – it’s your foundation. When your needs are met, you’re more likely to respond to your baby’s needs with warmth and sensitivity. This is the foundation of secure attachment – a crucial building block for your child’s future wellbeing.

When Should You Talk to Someone?

It’s normal to have hard days or moments when you wonder if you’re doing anything right. But if you feel persistently sad, anxious, disconnected, or overwhelmed, it’s time to speak up.

Trust your instincts. Talk to someone you trust – your partner, GP, maternal health nurse, or a psychologist. You can also call a helpline like PANDA helpline (1300 726 306). You don’t need to wait until things get worse before seeking help. Early support can make a world of difference.

Your doctor might suggest therapy or, in some cases, medication. If you’re curious about speaking with a psychologist, it’s okay to initiate that conversation. You deserve a space where your feelings are met with understanding, not judgment.

Understanding Perinatal Mental Health: Anxiety and Depression

The perinatal period (pregnancy through the first year postpartum) is a time of increased vulnerability to mental health challenges. Around 1 in 5 women experience perinatal anxiety, and 1 in 7 experience perinatal depression. Many experience both simultaneously.

While it’s common, it often goes under the radar. And crucially – no one is immune. Perinatal mental health challenges can affect any woman, regardless of her history, socioeconomic status, or level of preparation.

Contributing factors include:

Hormonal fluctuations
A traumatic or unexpected birth
Sleep deprivation
Lack of support from a partner or family
Previous history of anxiety, depression, or trauma
Loss of control or unmet expectations

Let’s take a closer look at how anxiety and depression might show up in the postnatal period.

Signs and Symptoms of Perinatal Anxiety

Perinatal anxiety can manifest emotionally, physically, and behaviourally. Symptoms may include:

Emotional signs:

Excessive worry about your baby’s health or safety
Racing thoughts or “what if” spirals
Intrusive or obsessive thoughts (e.g., visions of harm coming to your baby)

Physical signs:

Panic attacks or dizziness
A sense of dread or being constantly on edge
Feeling tense, shaky, or easily startled

Behavioural signs:

Constantly checking on your baby
Avoiding people, places, or conversations
Seeking constant reassurance from loved ones

A Word on Intrusive Thoughts

Intrusive thoughts are unwanted, often distressing images or ideas that seem to appear “out of nowhere.” They can feel deeply unsettling and may involve thoughts of harm, which is terrifying for many mothers.

These thoughts are common. Campaigns like #SpeakTheSecret have helped reduce the shame around these thoughts and encouraged more women to seek help.

Avoiding the thoughts or suppressing them tends to make them worse. Talking about them, on the other hand, is a crucial step in reducing their power.

Signs and Symptoms of Perinatal Depression

Perinatal depression shares many features with general depression, but it occurs during pregnancy or after childbirth and it can impact a mother’s connection with her baby and the baby’s emotional development.

Emotional symptoms:

Persistent sadness, hopelessness, or emotional numbness
Irritability or resentment – often toward your partner or even your baby
Feelings of guilt, shame, or inadequacy

Cognitive symptoms:

Difficulty concentrating or making decisions
Self-critical inner dialogue (“I’m a bad mother”)
Thoughts of self-harm or suicide*

Physical symptoms:

Fatigue or low energy, even after rest
Changes in appetite or sleep patterns
Decreased interest in sex or intimacy

Behavioural symptoms:

Withdrawing from loved ones or social activities
Conflicts in your relationships
Risk-taking behaviours (e.g., substance use or impulsive spending)

If you are experiencing thoughts of self-harm or suicide, please seek help immediately. Call Lifeline on 13 11 14, the Mental Health Access Line on 1800 011 511, or 000 in an emergency.

It’s important to distinguish perinatal depression from the “baby blues”, which are temporary mood changes that occur within the first two weeks postpartum. If symptoms persist beyond this window, it may indicate something more serious.

What Therapy in the Postnatal Period Can Look Like

Seeing a psychologist during the postnatal period doesn’t mean something is “wrong” with you. It means you’re prioritising your wellbeing – and that of your baby.

Therapy can provide:

A safe space to explore complex emotions
Practical tools for managing anxiety, intrusive thoughts, or low mood
Support in adjusting to your new identity and role
Help navigating relationship changes or family dynamics
Strategies to increase self-compassion and reduce guilt

Therapists often use evidence-based approaches like Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) to:

Challenge unhelpful thinking patterns
Develop a toolkit of grounding and mindfulness strategies
Identify what you can and cannot control
Support you to re-engage with meaningful activities
Assist you to set healthy boundaries
Build a personalised plan for tough days

Your therapist may also refer connect you with other services like Karitane or Tresilian to support you with sleep and settling.

“Good Enough” Isn’t Just Good – It’s Great Parenting

One of the most powerful messages a new mother can hear is this: you don’t have to be perfect. In fact – it is good not to be perfect.

British paediatrician and psychoanalyst Donald Winnicott coined the term “good enough mother” to describe the kind of caregiver babies actually need – someone who is attuned, responsive, but also human and fallible.

With an imperfect, but attuned mother, children will learn to tolerate minor frustrations in a safe environment. This helps them develop self-regulation skills and resilience. What matters most is consistency.

Final Thoughts: You Are Not Alone

The postnatal period is likely to bring joy and love – but also uncertainty, change, and at times, profound emotional challenges. Whatever your experience, your feelings are valid, and help is available.

At MyLife Psychologists, a number of our psychologists have a special interest in supporting mothers through the postnatal period. If you or someone you love is feeling overwhelmed, we’re here to help.

Get in touch today to see how we can support your journey into motherhood.