How to Overcome Loneliness

Loneliness is a universal human experience, but in today’s busy and often isolating world, it’s more common than ever before. For some, it may be a fleeting feeling, while for others, it can become a chronic condition with significant impacts on mental health and wellbeing. In this blog post we’ll help you to better understand loneliness, it’s causes and impacts, and how to overcome loneliness and get support.

Understanding Loneliness

Loneliness is often misunderstood as mere social isolation; however, it is a complex emotional state characterised by a perceived lack of meaningful social connections. Research indicates that loneliness can manifest in different forms, such as reactive loneliness, which occurs in response to specific life events, and chronic loneliness, which persists over time and can lead to severe emotional distress and health issues

Loneliness arises when there is a gap between the social connections we desire and those we have. It’s important to note that being alone and feeling lonely aren’t the same thing. You can be surrounded by people and still feel lonely, just as you can enjoy solitude without feeling lonely. Loneliness stems from a mismatch between the relationships we want and the ones we experience, and it can impact anyone, regardless of age or life circumstances.

Types of Loneliness:

Emotional Loneliness: This type arises from a lack of close emotional connections. Individuals may feel isolated in their relationships, even if they are surrounded by others.
Social Loneliness: This occurs when someone feels disconnected from their social network or community. It can stem from moving to a new place, losing touch with friends, or feeling excluded.
Situational Loneliness: Often triggered by specific life events, such as the death of a loved one, divorce, or job loss, this type of loneliness can be particularly acute and painful.

Causes of Loneliness

In order to overcome loneliness, you need to understand its root causes.

Common causes of loneliness include:

Unfulfilling relationships can contribute to individuals feeling lonely within their relationships due to emotional neglect, lack of intimacy, or unresolved conflicts. This can lead to feelings of worthlessness and despair.

Life transitions such as moving cities, starting a new job, or losing a loved one.

Social isolation, especially in modern urban environments where meaningful connections can be harder to establish.

Mental health conditions like depression and anxiety, which can create barriers to forming and maintaining relationships.

Low self-esteem or feelings of inadequacy that make reaching out to others more challenging.

Loneliness After COVID-19 and Remote Work

The COVID-19 pandemic exacerbated loneliness across the lifespan, with social distancing and lockdowns intensifying feelings of isolation. For many, the shift to working from home has introduced a new form of loneliness. Although remote work offers flexibility, it has reduced casual, face-to-face interactions that were once a vital source of connection. Many workers report missing the everyday conversations and spontaneous interactions that occurred in an office setting, leaving them feeling disconnected despite virtual meetings and online communication tools.

This new landscape requires an intentional effort to rebuild social connections, both in personal and professional settings. For those struggling to reconnect, overcoming loneliness on their own can be challenging, and structured interventions and professional support can make a significant difference.

Loneliness Across the Lifespan

Loneliness is a complex emotional experience that affects individuals of all ages, from young people to older adults. Despite living in a world where technology keeps us connected, loneliness is rising across all age groups, making it a key public health concern in Australia and around the world.

Loneliness in Adolescents (Aged 12-17):

- While adolescents also experience loneliness, the prevalence is lower than in young adults, with about one in six adolescents reporting problematic levels of loneliness (approximately 16%).

- Despite lower reported levels of loneliness, adolescents are still at risk, especially those who face social isolation or mental health challenges. The survey indicates that adolescents generally perform better on mental health measures compared to young adults, but they are not immune to the negative effects of loneliness.

2. Loneliness in Young Adults (Aged 18-24):

- Young adults report the highest levels of loneliness compared to other age groups. According to the Young Australian Loneliness Survey, over one in three young adults (approximately 35%) experience problematic levels of loneliness, which is significantly higher than the rates observed in adolescents.

- Factors contributing to this heightened sense of loneliness include major life transitions such as leaving school, entering higher education, or starting a new job, which can disrupt existing social networks and supports.

3. Loneliness in Middle-Aged Adults (Aged 25-54

- In Australia, approximately 16% of adults aged 15 and older reported experiencing loneliness in 2022, with specific data for the midlife age group suggesting that loneliness is a growing concern. The 35-44 age group has seen a notable increase in social isolation, rising from 16% in 2021 to 17% in 2022, indicating that midlife individuals are increasingly feeling disconnected from their social networks.

- Many experience loneliness due to career pressures, the demands of raising children, or relationship breakdowns. Maintaining friendships and social networks can become difficult as time constraints and life stressors increase.

4. Loneliness in Older Adults (Aged 55 and Over):

- Interestingly, the trend for older adults shows a decline in reported loneliness over the years. In contrast to the increasing loneliness among younger populations, the proportion of older adults experiencing loneliness has decreased from 20% in 2001 to 16% in 2022. This suggests that while younger individuals are grappling with loneliness, older adults may be finding more stable social connections as they age.

5. Other Differences:

- Loneliness is reported more frequently among young women than young men. For instance, 25% of females aged 15-24 often feel very lonely, compared to lower rates in males.

- LGBTQIA+ young people also report higher levels of loneliness, with 70% indicating feelings of loneliness compared to 51% of heterosexual peers.

The Impact of Loneliness on Mental Health

Loneliness doesn’t just affect how we feel emotionally – it can have far-reaching effects on both mental and physical health. Chronic loneliness has been linked to several negative outcomes, including an increased risk of mental health conditions such as depression, anxiety, and stress. It can also exacerbate feelings of worthlessness and contribute to unhealthy coping mechanisms, such as substance use or social withdrawal.

Prolonged loneliness has been linked to:

Anxiety and depression

Decreased self-esteem

Chronic stress

Sleep disturbances

Weakened immune function

Increased risk of cognitive decline, particularly in older adults

The effects of loneliness are pervasive and can compound over time, making it harder to break the cycle of isolation and withdrawal. This highlights the importance of addressing loneliness early and proactively seeking support to overcome loneliness when needed.

When to Seek Help to Overcome Loneliness

While everyone experiences loneliness from time to time, it’s essential to seek professional help if:

You feel persistently lonely, even when you’re with others.

Loneliness is impacting your daily life or well-being.

You find it difficult to form or maintain relationships.

You’re using unhealthy coping mechanisms to deal with your loneliness, such as substance use or avoidance.

At MyLife Psychologists, we offer compassionate, evidence-based therapy to help you navigate these challenges and develop a greater sense of connection and belonging.

How Can Therapy Help?

At our Sydney practice and online via video, we offer a range of evidence-based therapeutic approaches for adults and older adolescents dealing with loneliness and its associated mental health challenges. Here are some of the ways a clinical psychologist can help you to overcome loneliness:

Understanding the Root Causes of Loneliness

Loneliness often stems from deeper emotional or psychological issues, such as low self-esteem, social anxiety, or unresolved trauma. A clinical psychologist can help you identify and address these root causes using therapies such as CBT and Schema Therapy, which are designed to challenge unhelpful thought patterns and behaviours.

Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) for Loneliness

CBT is a highly effective, evidence-based treatment for loneliness. It works by helping you identify negative thoughts and beliefs that may be contributing to your sense of isolation. For example, you may believe that others are uninterested in forming a relationship with you, or that you’re not “good enough” to have close connections. A psychologist can work with you to reframe these thoughts and develop healthier, more realistic beliefs, which can improve your ability to connect with others.

Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) for Building Connections

ACT can also be helpful for addressing loneliness. This therapeutic approach focuses on helping you accept difficult emotions (like loneliness) while committing to actions that align with your values. For example, if building meaningful relationships is important to you, ACT can help you take steps toward this goal, even when it’s uncomfortable. Over time, this can lead to more rewarding and fulfilling social connections.

Developing Social Skills and Confidence

Many people who struggle with loneliness find it difficult to initiate or maintain relationships. A psychologist can provide practical strategies for improving social skills and building confidence in social settings. Whether it’s learning how to engage in small talk, assert yourself in conversations, or handle rejection, these skills can help you feel more empowered in your interactions with others.

Managing Social Anxiety

Social anxiety often accompanies loneliness and can make it even more challenging to connect with others. Therapies like CBT and DBT can help you manage anxiety, reduce avoidance behaviours, and feel more at ease in social situations.

Schema Therapy for Healing Deep-Seated Emotional Wounds

Some people experience chronic loneliness because of unmet emotional needs in childhood or earlier life experiences. Schema Therapy is designed to help individuals understand and heal these deep-seated emotional patterns, allowing them to form healthier and more secure relationships.

Building a Support Network

A psychologist can also help you explore ways to expand your support network, whether through social groups, community activities, or other opportunities for meaningful connection. Sometimes, it’s about finding the right environment where you feel comfortable opening up and connecting with others.

Taking the First Step

Loneliness is a challenging experience, but it’s important to remember that you don’t have to go through it alone. Seeking professional support can provide valuable tools for managing feelings of isolation and rebuilding a sense of connection.

At MyLife Psychologists, we are committed to helping individuals overcome loneliness through tailored, evidence-based treatments. Whether you’re a young person grappling with social pressures, an adult struggling with work-life balance, or an older individual seeking to reconnect with your community, our team of experienced psychologists is here to support you.

Book a free 15-minute call with our Care Coordinator or call on 02 7229 2338.